A standing section that holds fans for as little as €12 a
game, an eccentric and loyal young manager, constant suppression by a more
financially powerful rival, young and local players, fluid and attractive
football and playing in the world’s most happening league means Dortmund were quite
rightly the most obvious (and successful) hipster team of choice over the last
five seasons.
Dortmund have won two Bundesliga titles in the last three
years and also claimed two German cups in this time. Of the team that beat Real
last week, the two oldest outfield players, Łukasz Piszczek and Jakub
Błaszczykowski are 27 years of age, suggesting
that this team can progress and become even more expansive.
However, the demolition of Real Madrid at the Westfalenstadion
last Wednesday, has thrust Dortmund into the conscious of the mainstream media
(especially Jamie Redknapp) and in the eternal hipster paradox, once something
becomes popular, it is surely time to move on. Under-performing should be a
pre-requisite of any hipster football team, and it is clear that Dortmund have
been over-indulging in footballing success.
It is easy to forget that 12 years previously Dortmund were
as guilty as Bayern are now in splashing the cash to compete in the German league.
The Borussians spent €28.6 million on Nicolas Amoroso in 2001, a move which won
them the title, but almost bankrupted the club by 2003. In fact Dortmund were
reliant on a €2 million loan from Bayern to fund their own payroll, the
financial situation was so dire.
It is hard to know whether almost bankrupting your club to achieve
success is an attractive trait for football hipster fans (Portsmouth are just
about hip, less so Leeds and Man City) but here is a list of football clubs, that are likely to become and then be discarded by transient
football hipsters in the next few years.
Borussia Mönchengladbach
Staying in Germany, the Bundesliga’s other Borussia outfit
lay claim to several of the conditions needed to be football hipster material:
a young squad, a cult hero in Juan Arango, a feeling of injustice (after
Dortmund exploited a release clause to take Marco Reus back) and with a
nickname of Die Fohlen, they will
always have their indie fans. Lucien Favre has assembled a precocious set of
players; Granit Xhaka, Luuk de Jong and Barcelona
target, Marc-André ter Stegen, who all look set for a fantastic future. After finishing
fourth last year, Gladbach have had a fairly tepid 2012-13, ensuring hipsters
can continue to back them.
Getafe
Atletico Madrid often get a raw deal as Madrid’s second
club, but few fans in England will even realise Getafe are based just outside
of Madrid. Michael Laudrup continued his Spanish odyssey at Getafe for a solitary season, reaching the
Copa del Rey final after thumping Barcelona 4-0 en route and only being beaten
by Bayern Munich in the UEFA Cup in 2008. Michael Laudrup, being oppressed by
illustrious rivals and previously being sponsored by Burger King make Getafe
hipster cat-nip.
Rayo Vallecano
Rayo were briefly thrust into the mainstream focus last
summer after Michu introduced himself to the Premier league with a debut brace and
people remembered he cost just £2 million. Thankfully this season the club have
drifted back into the left-field, although that might change as clubs fight it
out for this year’s top-scorer, Piti, who has 15 goals from midfield. Vallecano
are another Madrid based club but unlike Real, who had strong ties with Franco’s
governance, have a proud anarchist supporter group.
Fiorentina
Rather than going for lowly and leftie Livorno, Fiorentina
are clearly the hipster team of choice for students of calcio. Going bankrupt
in 2002, some 33 years after their last Serie A title, the club began their re-ascent
with captain, Angelo Di Livio, who chose to stay with the fledgling club. Fiorentina
have won a remarkable six Coppa Italia’s and current Italy boss, Cesare Prandelli
cut his teeth at the Viola. Politics are important in football hipster
affiliation, but any club who wears bright purple and boasts Gabriel Batistuta as
a former player is impossible to resist.
Malmo
Fashion matters to football hipsters. Being able to pull-off
a vintage jersey of your hipster team of choice is an important consideration.
So if you’re going to go for one of Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s former teams, Malmo
are the least mainstream offering. Zlatan played for Malmo for two years,
wearing the below shirt as they were relegated, before firing them back up in
his second year at the club. Ajax, Roma and Arsenal came sniffing that summer,
with the egotistical machine moving to the Arena. Ajax director, Leo Beenhakker,
got the deal done for €8 million and famously remarked: “Give me 11 arseholes
like him and we’ll be champions.”
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